The Beach

There is a quite turpitude as I move my foot towards the beach. It is not because I am harping on some mischief or some other vague notion of self-indulgence. The waves touch my feet and run back leaving wet sand piled up in the webbings. A surreal feeling, and enhanced sense of pleasure is only bettered by the rushing sound of the sea. I would give away many moments to relive one of these.

The beaches across India are treasured, a place of divine natural beauty and the calm sea. The sand is soft and very fine with a quality comparable to a 1957 chateau. The remarkable serenity in the beach puts my mind at ease and gives me a definite answer. The waves are crashing on the shore day on day, throughout the year, incessantly. The sea tells me come back again and I shall still be here hitting the shore gently and pulling away.

The beauty of floating in the beach submerged in water letting the waves carry you, not bothering to do anything but read and eat. I take some time out to play for a while and get back to the sea. As the sea envelops me I am myself again. The searing sun does not hurt me anymore, the salt and sand make for a heady mix.

A blissful lunch and I spread myself under the shade of a coconut tree listening to nothing but the wind. A few hours go by and I am still under the coconut tree, the azure sky taunting me, I close my eyes again. As the evening comes a small campfire and a violin makes the cold wind warm and romantic. The serenading songs are enough to tickle my wanderlust, out with the torches in hopes of catching the nightfall in the rocks above. In a few moments darkness envelops the sea and turns her hostile. The lighthouse far out throws a beam for the boats and ships. I move in for a game of carrom and some scrumptious dinner. The reggae music in the background can only life the spirits and transcend heaven and earth.

This account of "paradise" only brings back memories and nostalgia.

Growing Up

On growing up, in many ways we only grow old and never grow up. There are times of clarity and transcending thoughts which makes me realize the time I have spent. The magical moments are lost on the mirth and generally remind me of the good times. My first fight, the first time I rode my bicycle, my first crush. Among the things I cherish are these memories, they come back to haunt you and tell you of the days you have left behind. The people you have left behind in this arduous journey of life.

As I have grown up I have become more independent, more responsible and more mature. at least the convention warrants it. The joys of my childhood are not lost on me and many of my friends can vouch for this. Growing up for me has meant being more like a kid, I am more possessive, I hate losing more than ever, I crib and play pranks and still enjoy the general innocence people bring with them. In essence I am more a kid now than I was when I was a kid.

The iota of independence and freedom growing up brings is the a breeze of fresh air, and I am using the term breeze because it lasts only so long. The sense of pseudo independence fast withers away to bring the gloom of financial planning and careful career considerations. A multitude of things to deal with, a first taste of office politics, tax that bites your wallets and almost certainly an annoying boss. These are some of the many firsts I would rather not have experienced. At least not till I had grey hair or no hair and traveled the world extensively.

Among all the agony and pain growing up brings I can only remember this famous quote " growing old is inevitable but growing up is optional". Hear Hear

Organized clutter

The moment you step into my room you will see a lot of things strewn across. The main ingredients are unwashed laundry and parchments of lesser significance. A few books I am currently coursing through, a bunch of CDs and storage devices. As the new year marched in I thought of cleaning it up and getting organized, lest  the potential visitors be put to shame over the shabby living conditions of a well to do software engineer.

As I rummaged through my CDs to put together I happened to chance on a collection og Dylan songs. The urge to listen to some Dylan was of course irresistible and I decided to put off my spring cleaning for a while. A few minutes later I picked up my first Freud lying perilously on the edge ready to tumble down at the slightest touch.

The magic of procrastination got the better of me and I totally forgot about cleaning up my desk. The laundry had been thankfully picked by mum for washing. My maid even makes a point of not touching anything in room when she comes into clean. After a while mum picked up most of the stuff on my desk and put them away in drawers. I am guessing she was fed up of the eyesore my room had grown into, she generally dislikes my maintenance and upkeep policies.

Well I had stepped out for a while to cater to my wandering mind and the long holidays. After coming back from a stroll looking at my room I figured out I had a lesson in cleanliness coming my way. Well there was only one problem now, I didn't know where everything was put away. It might have been a good fifteen minutes before I found my Ipod stacked away in my drawer. The book I was currently reading was at the bottom of the pile and I still haven't found the Floyd disc. The lesson in all this, clean your room before you mum does, it takes 15 minutes anyways. I figure it is much better than losing things among the organized clutter.

The times they are a changing

I am an software engineer ergo I am the quintessential of the modern age. The spectacular quality of software industry is the constant change its undergoing. There are many layers to a software organization, much like an onion, and it is almost as essential. 

Speaking of change, everyone i know has read "who moved my chesse", about embracing change or shunning it. In a social world, embracing change is a good thing, it speaks volumes of your character and your adaptability as an individual. I have myself seen coming into the turbulent under-draft of a change. How we each respond to change decides on how we survive the ruffles. 

Pondering on this a little further I was able to convene my immaculate train of thought. If all we do is respond to change, we will only keep adjusting ourselves never actually getting ahead of the curve. There are many such examples I can quote, a few famous companies like toyota, accenture and apple; definitely not ford, they only respond to change. As we look at the world leaders and the successful elite many only aspire to be, a certain quality unbecoming us is we are attempting to ape. This is probably a quality imbibed into us by the many generations that we have left behind. An ability to engineer a change and foresee the magnificent future that lies ahead would partake analyses and depth only the  profound can envision.

The ever changing world around us will only let us play catch up until we rise above it and start looking at ways of controlling and engineering it. So to all those aspiring gates and jobs, dont try to follow in someones footsteps , dont''satisfy yourself with emrbacing change; take the few difficult steps and envision a future your mum would be proud of.

The Gre English guy syndrome

I think this might be a new term I have coined and someone will eventually conjure up a study on this. This title of the Gre English guy was not actually coined by me although the syndrome part was gracefully added and the recurring social phenomenon identified, probably I am the next Freud in making.

To explain this new "syndrome" I have to delve into a few finer details. I have the tendency to use a simple flow in my language using words as appropriate. Sometimes the usage of my vocabulary borders on the proverbial Cambridge scholar (I think the oxfords are a bunch of goofs). In effect over days of reading garbled nonsense on the internet and the times of India, my vocabulary and my keen sense of judgment has suffered major setbacks. I just might be rebuffed by the oxfords too now.

Coming back to the issue at hand, recently I took up the GRE, a test of your abilities to continue education. Anyone who has written or even remotely heard of the GRE has definitely heard of Barron's. I was set with the arduous task of roting the entire damned list of improbable words which would never be used any learned person in normal daily conversation. The grueling task which I was never able to complete found me a reputation among my friends; I was counted among the so called GRE English guys, although I would prefer to be associated with the English rather than the Americans.

Now anytime I use the remains of the vocabulary I have left, I am taunted with the title "The Gre English guy". The syndrome I have envisioned is when someone actually responds to the taunts with a dull and boring dawdle, trying to suppress the detritus remnants of their vocabulary.  

Year End Musings

The merriness and mirth about a new year is pompous. There are plans made up and torn down the next instant. There are parties to attend and people to wish. Many of whom i haven't talked to in a long time. The new years always a hectic time. There are people going away on vacations and a million things to do.

A new years mean a lot of resolutions and looking back on the year that was. A solemn year for me, a few wise learnings. As I look back on the year passing me by and planning for the wait of another year ahead; I can see a certain momentous charm running through me. A wry smile over the caprices I have not planned, the many journeys I would partake and a million memories I would make. The subtle hints of nostalgia are always under the surface. Another year gone by, another year to come; is the next year going to be at least as sane as this one?

Looking beyond the yonder, this new years though is quite different for me. There are no plans made, until now that it is. I am not wishing anyone I haven't talked to in a long time. I am leaving the manners in the proverbial shit hole, no keeping appearances or making pretenses. I am in for a long haul cozy up new year. A long break is in this year for me and I am looking forward to enjoying every moment of it.

Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying

As I took an day off from work and sat down to ponder upon the workings of my daily life, a strange feeling crept on me. I think it was part my existential angst and part all the tension that has built up following the app process. I felt the need to do something, shout out from the roof tops or take a hike to some mountain. It felt as if the days were moving very slow and somehow I had no clue how I arrived here.

As i reminisced about work i felt a queer sense of joy, the days when i was a ravaged maniac, trying to squeeze out minutes from every possible thing i did. In my current assignment things are smooth, no hectic schedules to keep up with or arguments over the right approach. Don't mistake me for one of those people who work all the time. I enjoy my free time as much if not more than the person next to me but when i am at work i like to work like there is no tomorrow or yesterday. As a matter of fact, when many of my friends who told me the days they lazed out at work, i thought wow that would be entertaining. How wrong was that notion?

Two years have gone by since i started working. Have these two years been great? You bet on it, they have been some of the best times. Still, i have no clue what i would be doing for the next 10 minutes, given the freedom from the society and culture. Probably i might take to travelling or music, but mostly i would be writing all the while. As i sat through and pondered i could only remember those famous words by andy from shawshank - "It comes down to a choice really. Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying"